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You don’t have to earn rest or worth.

\\ You don’t have to earn rest or worth.

Perfectionism in Teens

When “Doing Your Best” Starts to Feel Like Pressure

I am not affiliated with any of the links, books, or authors that are on this page. This solely serves as recommendations for anyone interested in additional support in recovery. 

Supporting Teens Who Carry Too Much

Teen perfectionism isn’t just wanting good grades or caring about school—it’s the heavy, constant feeling that everything matters too much. That one mistake might ruin everything. That you should be doing more, performing better, or never letting anyone down.

For teens, perfectionism often becomes tangled up with identity, confidence, social comparison, and the fear of not being “enough.”

It can look like:

  • procrastinating because the assignment feels too overwhelming

  • panic or shutdown around grades, tests, or deadlines

  • spending hours on work that should take 20 minutes

  • fear of disappointing teachers, parents, or themselves

  • rewriting or redoing assignments to feel “just right”

  • comparing themselves to peers, siblings, or online ideals

  • burnout, irritability, or emotional withdrawal

  • tying self-worth to achievements, sports, or appearance

It’s not laziness. It’s not being dramatic.
It’s a nervous system trying to protect them from the fear of failing.

And it’s something we can treat—gently and effectively.

Is Perfectionism Impacting Your Teen?

  • Does your teen shut down or panic around grades or deadlines?

  • Do they spend hours perfecting assignments—or avoid starting altogether?

  • Is your teen harder on themselves than anyone else is?

  • Do they struggle to rest without guilt?

  • Do they tie their value to achievement, performance, or approval?

How I Help Teens With Perfectionism

I use a combination of CBT, RO-DBT, and DBT-informed skills that fit the unique developmental needs of teens—practical tools, flexible thinking, and emotional safety.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps uncover the core beliefs that drive perfectionism and reshape the patterns that keep you stuck. We work on:

  • reducing all-or-nothing thinking

  • challenging perfectionistic rules

  • creating flexible, realistic expectations

  • building a sense of worth not tied to achievement

  • practicing “good enough” living with less fear

Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT)

RO-DBT is especially helpful for perfectionism tied to overcontrol, rigidity, or emotional inhibition.
It supports you in:

  • softening self-criticism

  • increasing openness, flexibility, and willingness

  • building connection and authenticity

  • learning to let go of impossible standards

DBT-Informed Skills

For teens and adults who struggle with shame, overwhelm, or intense self-pressure, DBT helps:

  • regulate emotions without shutting down

  • practice self-compassion

  • reduce avoidance and build mastery

  • approach challenges with steadiness instead of fear

Support can begin here.

Whether you’re ready to begin therapy or just want to explore your options, you’re welcome to complete the form below. Share a few details about your needs, and we’ll be in touch within 48 hours.